• Report: You a Ghost
  • What's That Behind You?
  • Junior Still Living on Campus Wondering Where it all Went Wrong
  • Cocky Statue Gains Sentience, Attends Classes
  • Woman Who 'Literally Just Died' Literally Just Died
  • USC Installs Pay Meters On Bathroom Stalls
  • Man Still Telling Story Despite Fact Everyone Stopped Listening
  • Struggling Student Chooses Still Not To Pay Attention In Class
  • Study: Your Condoms Have 3.2% Chance Of Being Used

  • Needed: Band student to recreate the sounds of construction machinery next to the health center. We've been getting a lot of complaints that it's eerily quiet, so we'd like to pay 4 meal swipes a week for you to imitate some screeching sounds. -Russell House
  • Maymester Study Abroad - Somalia: First time trip! We're gonna have a great time, and you'll get 3 credits for the trip. Life insurance recommended.
  • BEST INTERNSHIP. $35/HR BASE PAY. PLEASE MEET ME FOR INTRVIEW @ MY WAREHOUSE OFFICE. COME ALONE, I WORK NIGHTS. THANK YOU
  • Bible Study This Week: We'll come to you when it's least convenient. God bless.
  • Found Dog: He's perfect, thanks.