Group Project Members Report You Absolutely Weakest Link
The project, which constitutes a significant portion of you and your group members’ final grade, is simply way above your head.
Latest Edition
On Campus
Senior Admits to Using Google Maps to Find Way to Class
In a press conference held today, one USC senior finally admitted that he has no fucking clue where his classes are.
Sports
Carolina Panthers Furious Over Cam Newton, Luke Kuechly Dogfighting Scandal
‘Football is a tough game, and you need to have a way to blow off some steam outside of the sport. For us, we like to get into renovated WWI era airplanes and fly them around,’ Kuechly said.
Entertainment
Horoscopes: October 2017
Libra (September 23 to October 22) – Nothing of note will occur. Just go on with your life and pretend like nothing is wrong with the world.
World News
Man Breaks Into Cold Sweat After Receiving Text from Girlfriend Saying “We Gotta Talk”
“I didn’t do anything,” he feverishly claimed. “Well, at least I think I didn’t.”
Politics
Fascist Still Finds Time For the Little Things
Bannon, emphasizing the stress often incurred by depriving human beings of basic rights, emphatically praised ‘just sitting down and having a moment to yourself.’
Opinion
Opinion: You Mind if I Grab this Chair?
Hey, man, how’s it going? Nobody’s sitting here, right?
Sci-Tech
Apple Clarifies ‘Hispanic Males Have Stolen Jobs’ Press Release
Apple quickly retracted their statement.