Spring Break Provided Much-Needed Rest From Busy, Drunken Schedule

With spring break over, students at USC can now reflect on their much needed break from the normal, drunken grind.

“I certainly enjoyed having no responsibilities for a week”, stated sophomore business major Jackson Ruback. “Going to Five Points 6 nights a week can be really demanding.” Normally swamped with smoke sessions and pregames to attend, Gamecock students found comfort in being able to escape from their usual toils.

Leaving the crowded bars and clubs of Columbia for the slightly more crowded bars and clubs at the beach, students were able to forget about their everyday troubles and relax. Junior Holly Kent, who spent the week in Panama City, spoke for many of her classmates when she mentioned that she “didn’t miss all those late nights downtown.”

“We hadn’t had a day off since, like, Christmas. I was exhausted,” Kent explained.

Many students used their newfound free time to day drink at the beach or pop mollies in sketchy nightclubs. Ruback and a group of friends rented a house in Key West and shared their experiences with The Third Spur.

“Dude, we got so fucking hammered. It was awesome. And in the mornings we didn’t even have to worry about skipping our classes. Spring break forever!” Unfortunately for Jackson and the rest of the student population, spring break is indeed over, and they will have to go back to feeling only slightly ashamed about binge drinking on a Wednesday.