A source from the History Department has confirmed this week that sophomore Tim Avery is “bored” by the spellbinding journey of humanity recounted throughout his history class.
Reportedly, Avery has expressed that stories of the incredible triumphs and unthinkable tragedies of the human experience are “not really interesting” to him. “I’m just not into it,” the sophomore has been quoted in saying, referring to the billions of lives before his own.
By his own admittance “more of a science person,” Avery says he can’t find the motivation to complete the course’s lengthy readings.
“It’s so long,” he said of the painstakingly-detailed records of his ancestors, retold alongside thought-provoking commentary by the world’s foremost historians. Avery also wondered how the chronological explanation of exactly how the world arrived at its current state could be of any relevance to the modern student.
At press time, as the professor of the course lectured on several mass migrations that allowed the human population to disperse across the planet, Avery was crumpling, uncrumpling, and then recrumpling a gum wrapper.