Hey, come on in! I wanted to give you guys a little tour of Green Quad and show you why I love living here so much. Living in a sustainable housing group is great because protecting wildlife is really important to me. Anyway, I reached out because I am looking for new roommates and wanted to get the word out.
So this is our living room. We’ve got a pretty standard couch, some chairs, a table— don’t look under that table, it’s so messy under there. I’ll just put this blanket on that. There’s nothing moving under there, don’t worry about it.
Now if you turn this way, you’ll see our kitchen. All of the appliances meet the LEED Silver Certification for sustainability. We’ve got a full fridge, a stove, and look at how much cabinet space we have here. Oh jeez, where did all of this snake food come from? I’ll just throw that away real quick, it must be a joke or something. Yikes, with the way I’m acting, I bet you think I’m training to become an amateur snake keeper while studying at USC. That would be so funny, right?
Okay, let’s slither over to the bedroom. If I hypothetically had a pet or two, this area under the bed would be a really good hiding area for them. The room also comes with this mattress and sheets, which would serve as a really good cage barrier lining for multiple snakes. The lamps in this room would be an extremely vital heat source for exothermic reptilia.
Alright, if you don’t tell anyone, I could show you the fourteen snakes I keep in this cage. They’re actually really sweet little fellas! I’ve got a couple larger carnivorous ones in the other bedrooms as well, since my roommates aren’t here anymore. It’s a long story. Fun fact: did you know that a boa constrictor can eat a whole human?
Anyway, that’s my apartment. If you want to room with me, feel free to reach out and I would let you move in immediately!