Laundry Hamper To Be Converted Into Laundry Pile

March 24, 2017 campus, laundry, student

Sources later reported Wolfe was already considering relocating the pile to the center of her carpet.

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 6

Professor Wary of Student Currently Initiating Small Talk

February 25, 2017 campus, professor, student

According to a report coming out of Dr. Amy Johnson’s office hours, the associate professor of Economics is growing increasingly

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 5

Student With Iranian Physics Professor Thinks Travel Ban “Great Idea”

February 18, 2017 immigration, politics, student

Davis currently holds a D average in the course taught by Dr. Farrokh Rahbar.

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 5

Student Stops Taking Notes After Missing Previous PowerPoint Slide

February 18, 2017 class, notes, student

Eyewitnesses claim he turned to a nearby student, shrugged and quipped, ‘what can you do?’

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 2

Autopsy of Dead Student Reveals Diet was ‘90% Hot Pockets and Pringles’

January 27, 2017 Death, Pringles, student

‘Never before had I seen a more malnourished, sickly person in my life. I felt like an archaeologist digging through the caked layers of Pringles in his stomach.’

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 8

Report: Junior Still Slave to Mother’s Phonecalls

November 17, 2016 cell phone, Parents, student

Jim, despite being in his junior year, has repeatedly disengaged from social activities to answer his mom.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 1

Man Who Impregnated Woman Just Wants To Be Friends

September 15, 2016September 15, 2016 friendship, pregnancy, student

Sources this week say that student Dustin Okuda has expressed his desire to simply remain friends with the woman he impregnated.