Area man Chad Dunsley has stepped up in the fight against the militant Islamic group Boko Haram. The 27 year old accountant has no prior military training, but still managed to kill more than 200 combatants in only a day of fighting.
“Well, I was just laying in bed watching the news,” Chad explained, “when I saw all this stuff about these Boko Haram guys. They seemed like some really bad dudes, and I figured that somebody should do something about them. Then I realized, why not me? So I bought a plane ticket to Nigeria, found a gun, and started doing my duty.”
Additionally, area man Jordan Benicker has been on a number of bombing runs in Iraq against the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. Jordan has killed over 50 ISIS combatants. This is also the first time that Jordan, a convenience store clerk, has ever flown an airplane.