People love to discuss their Good Friday and Easter Sunday plans, but no one ever makes plans for the one day in between: Sinning Saturday, the one time where you can do wrong without Jesus Christ looking. Here are the top seven sins for the big day, brought to you by Third Spur Life & Faith.
- Cheat on your significant other! Adultery is normally a horrible thing to do, but if He isn’t looking, you probably won’t face any consequences.
- Shellfish dinner? H*** yes! The Bible may say no shellfish, but Jesus can’t see you chowing down on seafood if He’s dead!
- Pull out that mixed fabric t-shirt from the back of your closet. When the son of God isn’t looking, it isn’t bad to get a little wild with some blended fabrics!
- Try out Hinduism! There’s nothing like dabbling in polytheism or worshiping idols during the one time of the year that Jesus Christ can’t even be mad about it. While you’re at it, you might as well knock off some of the other Ten Commandments from your Sin List and murder someone or even finally say that alluring phrase, “Oh my G**”!
- Look into sloth adoption. I’m not sure what the big deal is about them or why they’re so problematic, but know that Jesus’s death means that you have a small window of time for sloths without consequence.
- Be jealous. If your neighbor wins “Yard of the Month” for the third g*sh-dang time in a row, and it’s Sinning Saturday, know that you are allowed to covet that title. We all know deep down Steve didn’t deserve it anyway, but on Sinning Saturday, you’ll finally be allowed to feel something.
- Poison your annoying colleague. Typically you’re supposed to love thy neighbor, but it’s Sinning Saturday. Jesus isn’t alive to see it, so you probably won’t go to H-E-double hockey sticks!
Tag Third Spur in your best #SinningSaturday moments and we will post the best ones on our page!