I realize that those of you who read the Third Spur are here for the most accurate and trustworthy information on the internet, and that is why I would like to formally apologize for my wrongdoing. I led you astray. This was not intentional, and I regret it deeply. I was wrong about Donald Trump.
I wrote an article last semester entitled “10 Things That Will Make You Say, ‘Huh, Okay’ But Won’t Surprise You at All”. The article’s purpose was simple: give some factual evidence just outrageous enough to make people say “huh, okay”, but not enough to shock people. Things like, “my mom has a Twitter account”, which is absolutely true, but completely unsurprising. Although, I’m afraid that I failed tremendously. In the article, I stated that Donald Trump does not have a tattoo. For a while, I, just as you, believed this blatant lie. But in the name of journalistic integrity, it is my duty to give you the truth: Donald Trump does, in fact, have a tattoo.
I know you may be thinking, “didn’t he tweet on April 5th, 2013 at 6:26 AM that he did not get a tattoo?”
Of course he did. He’s the President of the United States, he has to say that he didn’t get a tattoo. But pay attention to the phrasing:
“Word is spreading that I got a tattoo,” implies that President Trump (Mr. Trump at the time) did not recently get a tattoo. He did not, however, say that he does not have a tattoo. While saying “I am not a fan!” indicates that maybe he did not get a tattoo after April 5th, 2013, but before the few weeks leading up to this date, he could have gotten any number of tattoos.
Donald Trump is 72 years old. In 1961, he would have turned 18. In 1961, tattooing was banned in New York due to an outbreak of hepatitis B. Donald, however, was a rebellious teen, sneaking out of his military school and causing trouble in the city. The underground tattoo movement was rampant in Mr. Trump’s early adulthood. In this time period (1961-1964, from the time he graduated to the time he enrolled in college) it is estimated that Donald J. Trump received approximately 12 tattoos all over his body.
Until today, President Trump has been good at hiding. Every time we seem to see President Trump, he seems to be wearing a full suit. Many may assume that he is doing this to look more professional and Presidential. HA! That’s just what he wants you to believe. Spectators at the White House just reported that they saw President Trump standing out on the balcony in a wifebeater and boxers, and he was TATTED. UP. I’m talking full tigers on his calves, the names of all his ex-wives in a line down his arm, and an anchor that says “refuse to sink” on his lower back. When your dad loans you a million dollars, you can afford to get inked.
So in short, I owe you this apology, because I was sorely mistaken. I should not have made assumptions on this incredibly crucial matter. I promise to do further fact checks in the future to preserve my journalistic integrity.