Local doomsday prepper Bronco Chavitz has made it clear this week that he does not believe in global warming. The 46 year-old car dealer who has stored 6 months of food, 25 high-powered automatic weapons, and several “bug-out” bags in secret locations in preparation for the impending mass democide perpetrated by the shadow government of the United States, told friends that “climate change is a total liberal hoax.”
“There’s not a single piece of real evidence proving the Earth is getting warmer,” Chavitz told reporters, as he forced his wife and daughters of 8 and 13 through the 400 foot tunnel constructed under ground from his foyer to his garage. “People shouldn’t buy into these ridiculous narratives,” he continued later, referring to the theory of rising global temperatures universally acknowledged by the global scientific community.
Chavitz describes himself as a skeptic, saying that a “few warm winters” won’t distract him from the “real threat” of the shadowy cabal of bankers, corporatists, and Hollywood producers launching their global conspiracy to systematically enslave and murder Christian devotees.
“When I’m watching the news and I see these ‘experts’ acting so paranoid, I just have to laugh at them,” he told reporters, before carrying $1000 of MREs into his bunker.