Sororities Outspoken After Being Asked Not To Drink Selves To Death

In light of the recent announcement from the USC Sorority Council that sanctions would be placed on chapters to curb excessive alcohol use, several sororities are vocalizing their objections at being asked not to drink themselves to death.

“I just don’t see why fraternities aren’t being punished in the same way that we are,” junior Samantha Carter said. “I don’t see anyone telling them to please keep their blood alcohol concentration below lethal levels. It’s about equality.”

Some of the suggested sanctions included limiting the number of beers brought to gameday tailgates, as well as reducing the number of sorority functions at which every single member is hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. Many sorority women have also reported being encouraged to eat a substantial meal before going out.

One sorority president explained over drinks that she believes the new regulations are totally unwarranted. “Our girls are some of the most responsible students on this campus,” she said. “But you know, we all have those nights of total, cold unresponsiveness.”