Opinion: It’s Time to Start Taking this Semester Seriously

Spring break is over, April is here, and the joking around needs to stop – it’s time I start taking this semester seriously and begin making an effort in my classes.

From now on, I’m going to start going to class a little. I’m going to start doing my homework, and make up all the homework I missed. I’m going to check all the syllabi to see who my professors are and when their office hour are. And I’m going to finally respond to all those GroupMe’s about projects that I’ve been blowing off. 

I’ve been emailing my French teacher after each class since mid-January telling him I’m deathly ill, and I think that excuse has just about run its course. I’ve set aside this whole Sunday to make up all the Biology labs I’ve missed this semester. And as for my Accounting class, my roommate knows a guy who can hack my iClicker to give me all the points I’ve missed.

You guys can trust me on this, I promise. After I changed my minor to film last semester, I was able to make up all those classes by catching up on everything with Netflix. Why would this strategy not work for everything else?

And Mom, if you’re reading this, I’ve gotten your text messages, and your emails, and your voicemails, and your regular mail about how “low” my grades are. I know I have a 26 in Econ. And I know I have enough time to get that up to a mid B. There’s two whole weeks left in the semester. Besides, that’s what extra credit is for.

To anyone else out there in the same situation, I urge you to drop the excuses, quit procrastinating, and finish the semester strong. Look at my brilliance and follow in my example. Strive to end the semester with a respectable 2.0 GPA like I am.

And if my French Professor is reading this, I would love to tell you about my recent miraculous recovery from whatever deathly illness I told you I had.