Weekly News Update

As all loyal and dedicated Third Spur readers know, this is the weekly segment in which all of the week’s important news is summed up in one, collected, concise location. The weekly update is a staple of the Third Spur, the pinnacle of journalistic integrity. It is our solemn and sacred duty to recount to you, dear reader, the objective facts of the last weeks happenings and to impart you it the knowledge to make informed decisions. There can be no higher calling than to dispense wisdom and insight into the most complex, the most nuanced, the most perplexing of circumstances. Illuminating and stimulating the mind of our reader base is the mission of this news organization, and we do not take up these duties lightly. Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail shall impede the process and proceedings of this body of media.


  1. War in Eastern Europe

It’s just occurred to me that we’re going to have to put that aside because I’ve been horribly procrastinating this assignment for my Spanish class and I really need to work on that instead. See we’re supposed to write this narrative about our lives using a combination of the preterit and imperfect tenses. That’s really not an issue however we’re supposed to do it in class, under the supervision of the professor and that kinda thing just gets to me yah know? I’ve never been a big proponent of timed writing and this is really the antithesis of it.


  1. Trump to be Jailed?

So, my plan is to completely pre-write the entire composition beforehand and do my best to memorize it so I can word-vomit it back onto the page much like a mother bird feeding her chirping children. So, taking a step back, now I have to sit down and write out a whole composition before I can even begin to think about memorizing it. That kinda thing takes a lot of time and I’ve really been lacking the motivation to do it.


  1. Government Bank Bailouts

Actually, come to think of it I have a lot of time to work on it right now (seeing as there’s not much else to do). Let’s see, I could start with something like this… “en el verano pasado, a mi me encantó hablar con tu madre” Yeah, that sounds pretty good. Alright that’s one sentence down let’s do another one. Maybe something like “Tu madre y yo fuimos a mi dormitorio para hablar anoche” See this isn’t actually that bad at all… I think I can do this!


  1. Common Sense Education Reform

Ok so update I wasn’t able to do it, but I have a perfectly good reason! All was well and I was making steady progress when suddenly I had the urge to stop working… Procrastination struck once again. However, I was at least somewhat productive during my long break from working because instead of scrolling mindlessly I decided to catch up on current events in the news! I would really love to spell the out here for you but I’m afraid I’m quite behind on this assignment and don’t nearly have enough time! ¡Adios!