Some Vaccinations in Drive-Through Centers Canceled from Increased Demand, Syringe Fights
Nationwide vaccine production would be much lower than the demand projected from increased vaccine syringe usage from fights.
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Sci-Tech
Top Five Elements That Make Me Crazy
Do you ever just look at the periodic table and realize that you’re completely frothing at the mouth?
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Facebook Unveils Mandatory Security Questions to Ensure User Data Sold to Advertisers Accurate
“Facebook cares deeply about your privacy,” a spokesperson said. “It’s our top priority. Right after turning a profit.”
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Bitcoins, Blockchains, Cryptocurrency, Click Our Article!
We have all the buzzwords right there in our title. What else do we need to do to get you to click on that link?!
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Jeff Bezos and the Corpse of John D. Rockefeller: A Comparison
Amazon’s Jeff Bezos goes head to head with business legend John Rockefeller.
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Study: People Who Talk Loudly are More Likely to be Assholes
A 6-month study has unveiled a correlation between people who are ‘loud-talkers’ and those described as ‘assholes.’
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Chem 111 Student Finishing Lab in 20 Minutes Nominated for Nobel Prize
Christopher Halton is an exercise science major, currently unsure about his plans for after his undergraduate studies.
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Apple Clarifies ‘Hispanic Males Have Stolen Jobs’ Press Release
Apple quickly retracted their statement.
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World Now More Likely to End in Bang Than Whimper
Scientists reiterated the obscenely high chances of the Earth perishing in a fiery explosion.
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Student “Engineering Pioneer” After Speaking To Female Classmate
Male peers are calling this ‘the greatest advancement an engineer has ever made.’
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Couple Actually Communicates Effectively
A monumental breakthrough occurred this past Friday in inter-sex communication.
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Students Pressure Teacher To Go To Space
After recent announcements of future one-way, manned journeys to Mars, sources say that students in Mrs. Cunningham’s 3rd grade class told her they think “it would be really great” if she went into outer space.
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FBI Director Demands Wife Open Backdoor
Late last night, sources report FBI director James Comey demanded his wife Patrice Comey open her “backdoor,” citing concerns for national security.
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Gravitational Wave Presentation Interrupted By Local Bullies
Tuesday’s presentation by the Laser Interferometer Gravitational-Wave Observatory on gravitational ripples was hastily interrupted by a gang of local jocks, sources say.
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Scientists Make Scientific Breakthrough In Field
With great excitement, a group of scientists announced a major breakthrough in their field today. “This field will never be the same,” claimed Ludwig Nussenbaum, a scientist.
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NASA Admits Mars Mistake: Discovered Water Actually Mountain Dew® Baja Blast®
On September 28, 2015, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) announced officially that water had been found on Mars,
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Microsoft Announces New “Surface 2 Air”
Only a few days after announcing the release of the Surface 3, Microsoft, a company not known to following standard
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Using Google Glass, Innovative Young Man Removes All Ads From The Real World
At a recent technology conference in Palo Alto, 28 year-old Andre Calhoun revealed his latest software breakthrough- an app for
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