Opinion: Comedy is Dead, and I Have Killed It

Opinion: Comedy is Dead, and I Have Killed It

March 29, 2023 !, ?, comedy, frizz, king of the hill, koth, magic school bus, no, the, way, with, ytp

Sorry if you don’t get it.

Opinion Spring 2023 Edition 1

Opinion: Why I Love Plane Watching

February 9, 2023 carowinds, charlotte, planes

There’s nothing quite like it…

Opinion Spring 2023 Edition 1

From the Author’s Desk

February 9, 2023 angery, funny, haha, lmao, lol, xD

We all know that feeling(here, at least)…

Fall 2022 Edition 4 Opinion

Halloween is Scary, But Do You Know What’s Really Scary… Talking to Women

October 28, 2022 men, milk, nothing else to see here, women

One man and his struggle.

Fall 2022 Edition 4 Letter to the Editor Opinion

Help my laptop is about to die and I need to write this article

October 28, 2022 set your tags here

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.

Big Thursday Campus Developing Stories Fall 2022 Edition 2 Holiday Opinion Politics World

Opinion: It’s Time to Finally Make Big Thursday a National Holiday

September 27, 2022September 27, 2022 big, thursday

It’s high time we gave everyone’s favorite holiday the recognition it deserves.

Campus Fall 2022 Edition 2 List Opinion

Opeenion: Where You Should Pee on Campus (Vibes Based) (Scientific)

September 27, 2022 article, do, even, i, piss, tag, this, what

Where you should (and shouldn’t) hold it.

Campus Fall 2022 Edition 1 Opinion

Opinion: You Can Borrow My ID, Bro

September 13, 2022 bar, drinking, id

Dude, nothing’s gonna happen

Holiday Opinion Spring 2022 Edition 4

Opinion: Men’s History Month Would Be Way More Epicer

March 30, 2022 men's rights, women's history month

Think about it: what have women actually done for history?

Holiday Opinion Spring 2022 Edition 4

Men’s Guide to Women’s History Month

March 30, 2022 information, men's guide, women's history month

Strap in and put on your ponchos, brohams, because it’s about to get wet n’ wild.

Opinion Spring 2022 Edition 4

I’m Pretty Sure I Have ADHD But I’m Not Entirely Sure How To Prove It

March 30, 2022March 30, 2022 easily distracted, self-diagnosis, wait what?

If you think you have focus issues, go to college!

Campus Opinion Spring 2022 Edition 3

Please Pay Attention to Me

March 22, 2022 coding, engineering, honors, not capstone

Oh, you think your classes are hard?

Opinion Spring 2022 Edition 2

5 Ways to Fight Off Seasonal Depression

February 15, 2022 advice, listicle, mental health

I am a psychology major and I am here to provide you with 5 tips that will beat this seasonal depression thing in the ass—and this is backed by legit research and stuff.

Holiday Opinion Spring 2022 Edition 1

All I Wanted For Christmas Was A Golden Retriever Gamer Boy

February 1, 2022 disappointment, presents, tiktok reference

Who doesn’t dream of having their own golden retriever gamer boy?

Opinion Spring 2022 Edition 1

Opinion: We Need A Second Cocky Statue Right Next to the Original

February 1, 2022 call to action, statue, tuition

Statues bring joy and cultural enrichment, and no statue has done that more for the fine students of UofSC than the immortal figure of Cocky.

Fall 2021 Edition 8 Opinion Thanksgiving

Just Say No! How to Avoid Eating the Worst Meat This Thanksgiving

November 16, 2021 DARE swear, self-defense, turkey

It’s that time again, and soon you will be faced with the same choice you have to make every year:
“What do I do with this dry, bad meat in the center of my family’s Thanksgiving table?”

Fall 2021 Edition 8 Holiday Opinion Thanksgiving

6 Items For Your Thanksgiving Break To-Do List

November 16, 2021 listicle, skeleton, spring break

Let’s face it: Thanksgiving Break is going to be different.

Fall 2021 Edition 8 Opinion

Heartwarming: What the Wasp in my Bedroom OH GOD KILL IT Taught Me About Acceptance

November 16, 2021 #yolo, mother nature, transcendentalist

Nothing can teach a man about himself better than Mother Nature can.

Fall 2021 Edition 8 Opinion

5 Fool-Proof Ways to Fight off the Shadowy Figures Lurking in the Corner of Your Eyes

November 16, 2021 advice, imagination, listicle

Here are some of the Third Spur writers’ favorite ways to keep the corners of their eyes free from any unwanted visitors.

Fall 2021 Edition 7 Opinion

Opinion: Sorry, Editor, I Don’t Have an Article For Tomorrow

November 9, 2021November 9, 2021 meta, peanut butter, prank

Look, nothing has been happening all week. How am I supposed to write an article when nothing is happening?

Entertainment Fall 2021 Edition 7 Opinion

6 Questions to Ask Your S/O This Fall

November 9, 2021 advice, lizards, relationships

If you’re planning on taking your new relationship into the Spring semester, there are a few questions you need to be asking your partner upfront.

Fall 2021 Edition 6 Opinion

6 Guns for 6 Feet Trick-or-Treating

October 26, 2021 coronavirus, guns, halloween

With the COVID-19 pandemic still ongoing (Yes, it is. No, really.), Halloween is going to be just another day: still wearing masks, but a little more dressed up and everyone on a sugar high.

Fall 2021 Edition 6 Opinion

Opinion: I Actually Went To The State Fair

October 26, 2021 columbia state fair, ferris wheel, we're going on an adventure

Everyone kept telling me to go, so I actually went, and now everyone can just leave me alone because I went to the State Fair already!

Fall 2021 Edition 4 Opinion

Opinion: Ten Zany Tips for Self Care During Midterms Week

October 12, 2021 journalism, listicle, self care

Boy oh boy! October is here, and with it comes the classic midterm slump every student dreads.

Fall 2021 Edition 4 Opinion

Opinion: Why I’m Filling My House With Doors

October 12, 2021 door, ghost whisperer, training tips

It may sound ridiculous, but giving the ghosts in my house more doors to slam has really made a big impact on their behavior.

Fall 2021 Edition 4 Opinion

Opinion: Dear Advisor, Per My Last Email…

October 12, 2021 advising, advisor, quest

Thanks for being so helpful during our advising meeting last week! I’m emailing to follow up about some things we talked about.

Entertainment Fall 2021 Edition 3 Opinion

Opinion: 5 Must-Try Drugs This Fall Break

October 5, 2021 fall break, party hard, vacation

Here at the Third Spur, we’ve been keeping our ear to the ground, and we are happy to present our curated list of 2021’s hottest narcotics.

Fall 2021 Edition 3 Opinion

The Battle of Russell Basement

October 5, 2021 covid testing, covid19, spit test

Who knew that the fate of one’s health rested in the arduous task of ejecting one’s saliva into a test tube?

Campus Fall 2021 Edition 2 Opinion

Parents to Remain On-Campus Indefinitely

September 28, 2021September 28, 2021 family day, parents day, staycation

Time to ‘Famigate’.

Campus Fall 2021 Edition 1 Opinion

Opinion: Group COVID Testing Mandated Just In Time For “Cuffing Season”

September 21, 2021September 21, 2021 covid, cuffing season, spit test

Spitting has never been so sexy.

Opinion Spring 2021 Edition 1 Uncategorized

Opinion: Alright, Real Funny Guys, Just Cause I Woke Up From A Coma Doesn’t Mean I’m Going To Fall For The Old Plague Bit

March 23, 2021March 23, 2021 coma, covid, plague

Ok, guys, I get it. It’s real funny to mess with the guy who just got out of a coma.

Opinion Spring 2021 Edition 1 Uncategorized

Please, somebody tell me I’m not the only one…!

March 23, 2021March 23, 2021 anxiety, driving, fear

I just couldn’t believe that I had to go through this all over again. It’s like God is playing with me.

Opinion Spring 2021 Edition 1 Uncategorized World

4 Brave Stories From Our Frontline Heroes About Familial Strength And 1 Brave Story From Me About The Time My Middle School French Teacher Locked Me In A Supply Closet Because She Thought I Was Making Fun Of Her

March 23, 2021March 23, 2021 brave, frontline heroes, inspiring

So many individuals from my community have shown so much strength in the face of tragedy, hardship, and some seriously unfair circumstances

Campus Fall 2020 Edition 1 Opinion

Opinion: I Ordered a Package I May Never Live to See

October 13, 2020October 13, 2020 journey, package

I knew this trek would not prove easy.

Campus Fall 2020 Edition 1 Opinion

Opinion: I Thought We’d Be Gone By Now

October 13, 2020October 13, 2020 cold, party

How could I have known the semester would last past August?

Campus Letter to the Editor Opinion Spring 2019 Edition 3

Letter to the Editor: Apologize for Discriminating Against the Illiterate

April 8, 2019 apology, campus, drama!, we're sorry

First of all, how dare you?

Campus Opinion Spring 2019 Edition 3

Pastides’ Successor has “Big Shoes to Fill”

April 8, 2019April 10, 2019 big, campus, Pastides, president, shoes, USC

Personable. Hardworking. Size 15. These are some of the traits students are looking for in our next USC President. There

Entertainment Opinion Spring 2019 Edition 1

Movie Reviews By Grandpa Leeroy – “The Emoji Movie”

February 9, 2019 doggone kids, emoji, grandfather, movie, review, the emoji movie

Good God. This one. Look, I don’t pretend to be hip with the new technology like you Millennials. A fax

Entertainment Fall 2018 Edition 6 Opinion

Movie Reviews By Grandpa Leeroy: “The Godfather”

October 31, 2018 doggone kids, godfather, grandpa, movie

You’ll probably think this movie’s a waste of time.

Fall 2018 Edition 5 Opinion

Fuck You for Not Celebrating National Suit Up Day

October 17, 2018 fuck you, holiday, kill yourself, suit, you suck, you're the worst

I know you did this on purpose.

Fall 2018 Edition 4 Opinion Politics World

Opinion: I Was Wrong About Trump

October 9, 2018

I would like to formally apologize for my wrongdoing. I led you astray.

Campus Fall 2018 Edition 4 Opinion

Fellas: Is Yelling About Cocks Gay?

October 9, 2018 cocks, jonathan, love

I mean, I don’t think yelling abut cocks makes you gay.

Fall 2018 Edition 3 Opinion Politics

Fact: Why I’m A Better Feminist Than Any Woman

September 24, 2018 Debate, feminism, hot issues, women

It’s time to acknowledge the real heroes of gender equality: men.

Fall 2018 Edition 3 Opinion

Opinion: My Girlfriend is Being a Selfish Bitch

September 24, 2018 girlfriend, problems, relationship

Let me get one thing straight before we begin – my girlfriend is a pretty sweet chick. But lately, she’s been acting like a complete bitch.

Fall 2018 Edition 1 Opinion Politics

Opinion: I’m No Communist, But…

September 2, 2018 Communist, politics, revolution

Seeing someone exchange currency for goods or services never fails to cause me to pull out my heavily annotated copy of Mao Tse-tung’s Little Red Book and angrily quote from it in front of a portrait of Vladimir Lenin.

Campus Opinion Spring 2018 Edition 7

Opinion: It’s Time to Start Taking this Semester Seriously

April 16, 2018September 5, 2018 student, studying

From now on, I’m going to start going to class a little.

Opinion Spring 2018 Edition 6

Opinion: Wow, You Didn’t Fail the Exam as Badly as I Thought You Would!

April 1, 2018April 7, 2018 exams, failure, professor

I mean, you still failed, but it could have gone a lot worse.

Opinion Spring 2018 Edition 4

Ask Uncle Third Spur: “My Printer is Giving Me the Silent Treatment”

February 25, 2018 advice, printer, uncle third spur

Not to be too graphic, but Epson and I were about to… get down to business, when Epson told me it needed to ‘warm up.’

Opinion Spring 2018 Edition 3

Editorial: Smash or Pass

February 14, 2018February 14, 2018 game, love, pass, smash

We’ll give you an object. Then you tell us whether you’d smash, or pass.

Opinion Spring 2018 Edition 3

Opinion: I Met My Wife DT Last Night But I Can’t Remember Any of It

February 14, 2018February 14, 2018

Last night was the greatest night of my life, but I don’t remember any of it.

Opinion Spring 2018 Edition 3

Opinion: Filtered Water is Making America Weak

February 13, 2018February 14, 2018 america, politics, water

Eliminating tap water was like eliminating an entire part of Darwinism.

Opinion Spring 2018 Edition 2

Opinion: Don’t You Just Hate It When THESE Things Happen??

February 5, 2018February 6, 2018 anger, bob ross

I don’t mean to complain, but there are a lot of things that I really just hate. And since I’m

Opinion Spring 2018 Edition 2

Opinion: My New Boyfriend Sucks at Kissing, But I Can Fix It

February 5, 2018February 5, 2018

After a couple of months of hard work, intense flirting, and many bottles of wine, I finally got the guy

Opinion Spring 2018 Edition 3

Joke: British Exchange Students Imprisoned in Black Hole of Callcott

February 5, 2018February 20, 2018 joke, stupid, USC

Did you catch the extremely clever joke there in the title? Don’t worry, I cited my sources, you simpleton.

Opinion Spring 2018 Edition 2 World

Opinion: I Accidentally Fell In Love as a Joke

February 5, 2018February 5, 2018 love, opinion, relationship

The joke began with some harmless flirting, but quickly spun out of control.

Opinion Spring 2018 Edition 1

Opinion: You’re Going to Hate My Ignorant-Ass Takes On These Issues

January 28, 2018 ignorance, politics

I’m not going to mince words here- my feelings on the following five topics are not gonna fly with you. Let’s dive in.

Fall 2017 Edition 6 Opinion

Opinion: I Stopped a Car by just Stepping in Front of It. Does Anyone Dare Challenge Me?

October 18, 2017November 7, 2017 dare, featured, traffic

Does anyone dare challenge my authority over this ethereal realm?

Fall 2017 Edition 4 Opinion

Opinion: You Mind if I Grab this Chair?

October 8, 2017October 8, 2017 campus, friends

Hey, man, how’s it going? Nobody’s sitting here, right?

Fall 2017 Edition 1 Opinion

Editorial: We’re Committed to the Truth, and this Relationship

September 9, 2017 editorial, love, news

What we have is special.

Opinion Spring 2017 Edition 9

Open Letter to the Guy Currently Sitting in my Unassigned Seat

April 8, 2017April 8, 2017 campus, class, college

I’ve sat there all semester and now you take a load off in my goddamn seat, you prick?

Opinion Spring 2017 Edition 9

Opinion: We Should Cancel Classes for More than just Meaningless Sports Victories

April 8, 2017April 8, 2017 campus, class, opinion

Alicia attended her 8:05 for the third time this month? Cancel class.

Opinion Sports Spring 2017 Edition 8

Opinion: I Bequeath Unto Thee, Sindarius Thornwell, Ruler of Men, My First-Born Son and All That He Lay Heir To

March 24, 2017March 24, 2017 basketball, march madness, Sindarius Thornwell, sports

Hail Sindarius Thornwell, Alpha and Omega, First and Final, Forever!

Opinion Spring 2017 Edition 7

Opinion: I Would Like to Go Home, Please

March 17, 2017 opinion, politics, trump

by Barron Trump

Opinion Spring 2017 Edition 4

Opinion: You Peaked in High School.

February 10, 2017February 10, 2017 high school; opinion; popular

It’s been three years since we graduated, and it’s time to reflect on life. No one has had the courage

Fall 2016 Edition 9 Opinion

Opinion: I Think We Should Talk

December 1, 2016December 1, 2016 opinion, talk

I think we should maybe talk for a bit, if you don’t mind.

Halloween Opinion

Opinion: Are You Going To Frank’s Tonight?

October 31, 2016October 26, 2017 halloween, opinion, party

Wait, you aren’t? Oh.

Fall 2016 Edition 5 Opinion

Opinion: Sex Should Be Mathematical

October 20, 2016October 20, 2016 love, mathematics, opinion, sex

Too often people strive for spontaneity, but I have found sex is so much better when it is formulaic.

Fall 2016 Edition 3 Opinion

Rant: Tropical Storm “Julia” Was Nothing Compared To My Bitch Mom

September 30, 2016September 30, 2016 campus, opinion, Parents Weekend

Over Parents Weekend, there were two crazy things named Julia that came into town: the topical storm and my bitch mom.

Fall 2016 Edition 1 Opinion

Opinion: Campus Sobriety Culture Excessive

September 15, 2016September 15, 2016 campus, drinking, USC

As new freshmen find their way around campus and into a lifetime of debt, it is important to realize that sobriety is stressful, and it is okay to say no.

Opinion

Opinion: I’m A $20 Bill. Let Me Choose How I Look!

April 26, 2016 choice, Money, opinion, politics

I am a $20 Federal Reserve Note. For years now, people have been judging me, along with my other fellow notes of varied denominations, for the human face printed on my body.

Opinion

Editorial: Daily Gamecock Shows Complete Lack Of Journalistic Integrity In April Fool’s ‘Joke’

April 1, 2016April 1, 2016 April Fools, Daily Gamecock, editorial

This weekend, in an act of blatant disregard for the basic tenets of journalistic integrity, the Daily Gamecock published several articles that fictionalized and trivialized the truth, in the name of a ‘joke.’

Opinion

Opinion: Clemson Does Not Fear The Elder Gods

February 18, 2016 Clemson, Elder Gods, opinion

By Belial the Younger
There was a time when all men quaked before the Elder Gods. That time is long gone. Now, only a few of us remain who know the true power of the Elder Gods. The arrogant hedonists at Clemson are among those who have forgotten.

Opinion

Opinion: We Need To Let Both Teams Win

February 3, 2016February 3, 2016 opinion, sports, win

By Angie Frye, Junior Psychology Major – Listen guys, I don’t consider myself a sports aficionado, by any means, but I think it’s time we have a serious discussion about letting both basketball teams win the game.

Opinion Thanksgiving

How-to Blog: Cooking for Thanksgiving

November 26, 2015November 22, 2017 editorial, family, food, Thanksgiving

Preparing a Thanksgiving dinner is no easy task. So the Third Spur staff has created a few tips and tricks to help out for your big day.

Opinion

Opinion: Fuck You, Derek

November 15, 2015November 26, 2015 breakup, Derek, love

Fuck you Derek. You’re such an asshole. Wow. Can’t believe I even stayed with you as long as I did. All you ever did was hold me back.

Opinion

Opinion: Guys, I’ve Finally Found The One

November 15, 2015November 18, 2015 crush, love, opinion

Fall has begun, here in Columbia, and as the leaves fall to the ground and squirrels run to and fro in anticipation of the coming frost, I just went on my last first date with the girl who I know is “the one.”