Opinion: Comedy is Dead, and I Have Killed It

Comedy is dead, and I have killed it. That’s right, I am the only person alive who is funny. It’s just like that one meme with the Rock, you know, the one where he gives the side-eye and that vine boom sound effect plays? That one’s really funny. He just looks at you like 🤨*brrroooommmm*, it gets me everytime. But anyways, as I was saying, I’m the funniest guy I know.


It’s honestly shocking that I don’t get more girls. Like seriously, have you heard some of my jokes? They’re hilarious! Like the one I told the other day, where we were just talking about the Chinese weather balloon or something, and I was like, “yeah, I really hope they don’t send some dragons or minions to clean up our base!” Do you get the reference, it’s like, from the game, Clash of Clans? No? Well, if you had played the game, it would’ve been funny. 


This reminds of the time I was watching the show, King of the Hill, have you seen it? No? It’s this really funny adult cartoon from the early 2000s, it takes place in Texas, it’s the guy who created Beavis and Butthead, Mike Judge? Like you’ve seriously never heard of it? There’s a ton of classic YTPs on it? What’s a YTP? You know, it’s like a crazy mashup of a beloved franchise that’s super edgy and random… No? Here, watch this video real quick:




Pretty funny, right? I mean, it’s classic stuff. Maybe the jokes are just too sophisticated for you. Understandable, honestly, I have a very refined taste in jokes.


Another example of my true comedic prowess happened the other day, when I was talking to my friend about politics. He was talking about how he wasn’t sure who he was gonna vote for, and I was like “Dude, you should join the voter apathy party!” and he was like, “Dude, what the hell are you talking about,” and then I said, “Not with that attitude!” It was so funny I think he forgot to laugh. I can only assume he understood the reference from the sci-fi show, Futurama, created by Matt Groening.


So in conclusion, comedy is dead, because I am the only truly funny one. If you want to be funny like me just watch all the shows and weird niche YouTube videos that I watch and then you can fill your day with obscure references that will crack you up but be super confusing to anyone else.