Fact: It’s a Katana, not a Sword

Hello there, stranger. I heard you and your friends talking over there about my weapon. It’s gorgeous, isn’t it? I don’t mean to be rude, but I took issue with something I overheard you talking about just now. I heard you refer to this weapon on my side as a “sword”, and I just wanted to let you know that the terminology you used was incorrect.

What is it then? It’s a katana of course: a traditionally crafted Japanese sword used by the ancient Samurai warriors.

No, it’s not the same thing. In fact, I find it upsetting that you would suggest such a thing.  It’s incredibly disrespectful, and as president of the Anime Club I cannot condone that sort of ignorance. See the slight curve in the blade and the long grip upon which I could easily fit both of my hands? It isn’t a sword. In fact…

Well, now you’ve crossed a line. “Weeb” is an incredibly offensive term. And you know what? I was trying to be nice. But now you’ve forced my hand. I find it extremely offensive that you would call it a “sword”. It’s a katana, you mindless baka. Swords are what pirates use. A katana is an intricate and beautiful weapon, a craftsmanship of which you could not wrap your puny little mind around. You imbecile.

You’re lucky this one is plastic, because if it was real then I probably would have unleashed the power of the ancestors on you by now. Get rekt, noob.