Letter to My Professors: If I’m Late, I’m Late

Listen up professors – you’re going to want to pay attention to this.  I know I usually show up late to your classes and don’t pay attention when I get there, but this is actually important.

I get that this class has a “scheduled start time” and that I’m “supposed to be there” at that time, but in reality I’ll get there when I get there. I have a strict sleep schedule to stick to, and that does mean I’ll wake up at 8:20 to leave for my 8:30 class.  Is it my fault that it’s a 20 minute walk from my apartment?

I simply am not at fault for any of the numerous delays on my way to class.  I can’t exactly move or walk around that train that added ten minutes to my walk today. And yes, I know there’s a Starbucks next to Gambrell where our class is. But they don’t have the iced chestnut praline latte I drink, while the one in the library does.  And sometimes I have to use the bathroom before class, and there is only one stall in Russell I am willing to use, and I will wait for it if I have to.

I’m also aware that the walk between my two morning classes on Monday and Wednesday is only five minutes, but I always pass my friend Jeff walking in the other direction.  How dare you ask if I need to stop and talk to him for 30 minutes! This is usually the only time I can chat with him every week, and if I don’t stop and talk, well, this is Jeff we’re talking about.  There’s no telling what he would do.

And don’t even begin to lecture me about walking in late with food that I “didn’t need.”  I won’t even bother showing up in the morning with my aforementioned Starbucks or the afternoon with my Chick-Fil-A, so blame the people who run those establishments for their long lines.

It’s pretty simple at this point, and I’m not sure why you’re so angry with me.  I’ve made sure that I am consistently late to every class, so you should just expect it at this point.  Would you rather me not show up at all than 45 minutes late?