Help my laptop is about to die and I need to write this article

Oh God oh no where did I put my charger I thought I left it here but its not there oh god im at 4 percent. No time to think just write. Man I would hate to miss this deadline im already on thin ice after they rejected my last article on gamers rights, not to mention the social credits I lost for missing attendance last week ok think of something interesting like uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh oh the weather! Weather’s been pretty funky lately hasn’t it, am I right fellow people? No thats a stupid idea what about sports? Anything happen lately with the gamecocks? What sport do they play? God this is terrible man I am so done. I cant afford another bad article they might uninvite me from the end-of-year pizza party. I cannot let that happen. That only happens to losers. I am not a loser. Am I? I mean sometimes I question if its even worth it to continue. Here I am slaving away in my room at 2am trying to reach yet another impossible quota. My fingers ache from the endless typing of this relatively long paragraph but its not enough according to my boss. One article a week, he says. It doesnt even need to be that long, he says. Oh yeah like I’m made of time and good ideas. God I [love] this job every day I want to [live] and [be happy] myself. Wait I got it! I finally know what to write about! Ok so wh