Fraternity Seeking Support For Annual “Coke-A-Thon”

This March, while many of University of South Carolina’s Greek organizations will be promoting their own charitable events, one fraternity, Kappa Zeta, is going above and beyond the call of duty.

In a recent interview, Kappa Zeta President Andrew Simmons spoke in detail about their cause: “While some people might think that all fraternities do is party five nights a week, we at KZ are trying to dispel these stereotypes about fraternities.” He went on to say, “While we do enjoy bonding together as brothers through activities such as beer pong, long walks on the beach, and watching Nicholas Sparks movies together, we also seek to serve our community and give back to the kids here in Columbia. We believe that we can do this by snorting more cocaine in 24 hours than all of Wall Street does in a month.”

For every hundred dollars raised, every Kappa Zeta brother will snort one line of cocaine, and for any donations exceeding five hundred dollars, one pledge will snort an infinity-shaped line of cocaine.

As brother Danny Alvins said in an exclusive interview: “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get these kids help in school, because there is nothing more important to me than education. And if I have to skip class to do as much coke as possible, I am absolutely willing to do that.”

In conclusion, President Simmons said “We would be very appreciative of any support the USC community can provide us. And remember, we aren’t doing this for ourselves or to make our Greek organization appear legitimate by doing a one-day service project once per year, it’s for the kids.”