Carny Really Has Things Going For Him

Long time carnival employee William “Scurgly” Harrisburg really has his life going in the right direction. Scurgly’s good fortune started when his assignment changed from the old Hurl’n’Whirl, where he frequently had to clean up the vomit of customers, to the Dragon Coaster, where he cleans up significantly less.

Scurgly recently garnered national attention for his award winning corn dogs. “The secret to my corn dogs,” Scurgly expounded, “is that I’m not afraid to fish out the rat turds from the batter by hand. That way I make sure I get ’em all.” When The Third Spur inquired about how often Scurgly washed his hands, Scurgly responded by letting out a hearty chuckle while playfully patting our reporter on the cheek.

Scurgly’s mouth holds the record for the most teeth of anyone currently employed at Crazy Craig’s Carnival at 13 teeth. Scurgly cites the source of his good dental hygiene on a healthy minor fluoride addiction. “I just always enjoyed suckin’ on tubes of toothpaste,” Scurgly explained.

“At the end of the day,” Scurgly explained, “when I’m alone in my trailer, I look into my shattered mirror and I just can’t help but think to myself: I have no where to go but up.”