It’s winter, and we know what that means for some of us: seasonal affective disorder, which ironically can be shortened to SAD. Don’t you worry though, because I am a psychology major and I am here to provide you with 5 tips that will beat this seasonal depression thing in the ass—and this is backed by legit research and stuff.
- Get that Vitamin D, hun:
You’re thinking to yourself, “Well, where can I get that D?” Well, you have a few options: first, we got the sun (obviously), orange juice, salmon, shrooms (not the psychedelic kind, the Kroger/Aldi’s/whatever grocery store you shop at kind), eggs, milk, Chad that sits across from you in your anthropology class (you might not have chemistry together, but this is your health we’re talking about). Oh, and yogurt.
- Physical Exercise:
Now I know you just want to lay in bed and do absolutely nothing, but exercise is a great way to boost your mood. My favorite form of exercise is cardio. But I also know that you know that Chad works out at the gym M-F, from 7:30 to 8:30 in the morning. So if those cheeks aren’t motivation for you to hit the gym, I don’t know what is…
Whether it’s doing a face mask, getting your toes sucked by…leeches (you naughty, naughty—what did you think I was going to say?? Chad??) eating ice cream in bed, do something that you like to do and make it into a regular thing. Consistency is key.
- Positive Affirmations:
When you’re dealing with SADness, negative thoughts infiltrate your mind and start spreading like crazy. And the more you fuel it, the more that fire grows. So this is what you’re going to do: positive affirmations every morning before going to your anthropology class because when you glow everyone sees it. And Chad has definitely started noticing you. Stand in front of the mirror, and repeat these exact words:
Girl look at that body
I-I-I work out
When I walk in the spot, (yeah), this is what I see (Okay)
Everybody stops and they staring at me
I got passion in my pants and I ain’t afraid to show it
I’m sexy and I know it!
Introvert or extrovert, we all need human interaction. And if you can make money off of it, then why not! Here is what you do: download tinder, set up your profile, set the age range 50-70, and find those sugar daddies (or mommies, whatever floats your boat) that are going to pay you for like basic human interaction. And after you’re done, you pick up Chad and maybe take him on a date. Maybe you’ll cross two of these when you get that cardio too if you know what I mean. 😉