Opinion: Top 10 Reasons I’m Literally Crying and Shaking rn (and One Reason I’m Not)

October 19, 2021 listicle, mental health, WoW

10. I have a midterm tomorrow and I’m totes stressed! I always get in a good cry before my exams to clear my head.

9. Tuition is hella expensive! How am I supposed to get an education AND get all those cool League of Legends skins? Completely unfair. Because of this, I am literally crying and shaking rn.

8. I don’t know how to do taxes, because living in the United States means the only thing that matters in public school is standardized test scores! Aren’t we quirky?

7. I remembered that my favorite esports G2 Esports team was handily dismantled by FunPlus Phoenix on November 10th, 2019, and now hearing the song Phoenix makes me literally cry and shake.

6. I poured apple juice into my cereal bowl instead of milk. Not gonna lie tho, Honey Nut Cheerios and apple juice are kinda fire.

5. At any time of the day, any day of the year, the Yellowstone supervolcano could erupt, effectively causing a mass extinction on the North American continent. Remember, this could happen at any time, leaving a massive cloud of ash to blot out the sun. A thick layer of volcanic ash will cause crops to fail and water will become undrinkable. The American populous will slowly die out, allowing New Zealand to slowly take over the world from the safety of their cute little island.

4. I forgot my League of Legends water bottle at home. I can’t drink water because all of the water fountains are closed! Thanks, Obama.

3. I am aware of my inevitable demise and departure from the mortal plane. No one can escape their fate: death. For some, it comes sooner than others. But know that your time WILL come. There is no escaping it.

2. Five Points is using those scan-y things now, so I can’t use my fake there or hit on hot freshmen girls anymore. This is really unfortunate because they all really seemed to like my collection of World of Warcraft paraphernalia.

1. The heat death of the universe. Knowing that everything we do and accomplish in our lives will be for naught once the universe collapses in on itself makes me shiver in my boots.

…and the reason I’m not is…