ISIS Claims Responsibility For Busted Brackets

The hearts of many Americans were crushed Thursday, just hours after the start of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. Following just the third game of the sixty-three-game event over eleven million brackets were destroyed, sending owners of busted brackets into panic mode. While most initially believed that the losses by Iowa State and Baylor were simply March Maddness underdog stories, the terror group ISIS has since released a video claiming responsibility for the mayhem.

“Petty infidels. First we behead your people. Now we ruin your brackets,” stated Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi in the video. “A symbol of American tradition and diligence, demolished.”

The video then shows al-Baghdadi setting fire to a stack of papers, presumably thousands of brackets.

“There is more where that came from,” al-Baghdadi concluded.“Iowa State and Baylor were just the beginning. Release your hostages, or UAB will have their way with Kentucky in the final.”