Zeus Checks Prayer Queue Just In Case

Saying that you never do know when someone out there needs some help, Zeus, Supreme God of Olympus and Conqueror of Thanatos, told reporters yesterday that he still occasionally checks His prayer queue, which has remained empty since the early first millennium.  “It’s just something I made a habit of,” He commented, “and I never saw reason to quit.”

Despite not having any dedicated followers for a vast number of centuries, Zeus reported that He remained unfazed and steadfast to his role. “When you sign up for a job like this, you don’t take an off day because it doesn’t look busy. That’s when you work the hardest.”

Zeus did admit to feeling some envy toward the other gods whose queues have been more plentiful, but still supported His fellow deities “all the way,” saying of good friend and fellow god Vishnu, “I just don’t know how he does it. One billion followers. And he didn’t even have to turn into a bull and plug some water nymphs! Just remarkable.”

“I’ll just check again tomorrow,” he added while slowly turning away from his empty queue. “Maybe someone’ll need me then.” When asked if His efforts were in vain, the Supreme Being chuckled. “At least I’m not Jesus,” Zeus replied. “I still check mine.”