Honors Fire Alarm To Be New Wake-Up Call System

After a successful fire drill evacuation of the Honors Residence Hall at 6:09 am Monday, February 13, the University has decided to test a trial program of building-wide morning wake-up calls. Megan Fairchild, director of residence life, told the Third Spur that the department is hoping to utilize the blaring fire alarm as an amazing new feature in all the dorm buildings on campus beginning next semester.

One student expressed her excitement to Fairchild regarding the new plan. “It will be just like staying in a hotel,” Libby Brinkman stated, “getting to receive a wake-up call whenever you want, not having to deal with stupid phone alarms.” Fairchild was quick to correct Brinkman, sharing that the wake-up call would be a building wide alarm sounding at 7:00 am every morning. The familiar high-pitched blaring of the fire alarm would be used since that sound worked so efficiently during the morning which sparked Fairchild’s idea.

The department anticipates positive reception, however, the servers of 7 major off-campus housing locations crashed merely minutes after the plan’s announcement, suggesting that students have other ideas.

The preliminary research done by the department of residence life showed that the students whose beds were lofted next to the screeching alarms were the quickest to evacuate the building. Following this logic, it will be required that any student with an 8:00 am class have a lofted bed, so as to have better access to the piercing sound.

When faced with the complaint that a 7:00 am alarm is too early for many students without 8:00 am classes, Fairchild confidently asserted, “the early bird gets the worm.”

In response, some students suggested allowing them a snooze feature on the alarms. Fairchild released this motivational statement shortly following that query: “As Gamecocks we represent the best and the brightest this country has to offer. We do not snooze progress. We do not take a break from ambition. Nor too should our alarms fail us in this way.”