USC Requests Ideas for New Racists to Name Buildings After
‘There just aren’t many Strom Thurmonds anymore,’ one official said.
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Fall 2016 Edition 5
Family Playing Monopoly Unaware of Future Destruction of Relationship
Prior to the start, David confided to his wife that he hopes the game night will bring the family closer together.
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Area Strip Club to Begin Accepting ‘Carolina Ca$h’
Students who plan to spend $5000 or more per semester at Platinum will receive a 10% discount on their initial Carolina Cash purchase.
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Zeus Checks Prayer Queue Just In Case
‘It’s just something I made a habit of,’ He commented, ‘and I never saw reason to quit.’
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Opinion: Sex Should Be Mathematical
Too often people strive for spontaneity, but I have found sex is so much better when it is formulaic.
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Entire Nation Loses Presidential Debate
Despite the wide range of topics discussed, the nation was unable to shake the weight of several recent scandals.
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