Area Strip Club to Begin Accepting ‘Carolina Ca$h’

USC Students across Columbia rejoiced today after it was announced the the local adult hang-out, Platinum Plus, would now be taking Carolina Cash.

In a statement released to the Third Spur, Platinum Plus said that this new agreement would really help students to relax in their time out of the classroom, and they were looking forward to the influx of new business, but that it was worth noting that alcohol could not be purchased with Carolina Cash as part of the agreement, though there was nothing to prevent a conversion to USD for alcohol purchase. Furthermore, amateur night winnings could be paid out in Carolina Cash, and there would be half price cover for students.

Meanwhile, USC stated that there would be a new Carolina Cash in the upcoming semester for the most dedicated students. Students who plan to spend $5000 or more per semester at Platinum will receive a 10% discount on their initial Carolina Cash purchase, and the discount would carry through on any additional purchases over the semester.

Freshman James Holly was unable to contain his excitement when questioned by Third Spur. “I’ll admit, it’s gonna be tough to convince my parents I need $5000 Carolina Cash, but it’ll really pay off when I get to see that hot chick from my U101 class in stage for amateur night, you know?”