Opinion: World Wars, Ranked

by Warren Michael, history major

I just call ’em how I see ’em! Alright, from the top:

10. Cold War (1947) All talk, no action. Lame.

9. Crusades (1095) Laaame.

8. World War 2 (1939) Sequels are never a good idea.

7. War on Terror (2001) The fact that it’s still going on is disappointing. Plus, the ending is too predictable- will probably end in total annihilation of the planet.

6. Seven Years War (1754) Actually went on for nine years. Pathetic.

5. Nine Years War (1688) Was actually the length of time promised!

4. Napoleonic War (1803) Great artwork came out of it, at least.

3. Mongol conquests (1206) Not even Johnny Appleseed spreads seed better than Genghis Khan

2. French Revolution (1792) Who doesn’t love Anne Hathaway?

1. World War 1 (1914) It was the Great War! Duh!