Aging Expo Marker Trying Its Hardest to Not Dry Out

An expo marker floating around the Petigru building for the past 5 years has been mightily determined not to die any time soon. The marker, simply known as Green, has been fading over the past couple of years, but has resolved to stay alive. “You know, it’s really been tough. I’ve endured a lot of sweaty hands through the years, and I’m not ready to quit just yet.”

Eyewitnesses claim that green has faltered the last few times someone has attempted to use them, including an entire classroom discussion that was stopped in its tracks and delayed ten minutes so someone could find another marker. “It’s really easy to get discouraged in this profession, especially in my old age when I start strong but fade quickly,” Green said. “People call me crap, throw me callously across the room, but I just pick myself back up, put my cap back on tight, and look forward to trying again tomorrow.”

Green has floated between almost all the classrooms in Petigru since arriving in the fall of 2013. “I was brought to Petigru by an English 102 professor, and I’ve been floating around this building ever since.” The expo marker recounted on their long career, reliving some of their greatest accomplishments. “I’ve been a part of hundreds of study sessions, group projects, and lectures. I’ve seen romance blossom and crumble. Hell, I’ve been used as a weapon thousands of times.”

When asked about the inescapable void of the trash can, Green responded calmly, saying “We cannot avoid the inhospitable march of time, and I have accepted that I will soon be thrown out and replaced for a newer, better version of myself.” Green continued by pontificating about how they will die. “It’s an unknowable thing, really. I could lay here and be ignored for several more months, or I could be thrown out tomorrow by an angry professor. Whatever the case, I’m prepared for the trash can.”

“I have no regrets at all” Green claimed. “I was made for this.”