CEC Dean: Engineering Fee Increases Will Fund Carowinds Trip for Faculty

Facing pressure for transparency regarding a recent large spike in the undergraduate engineering fee, College of Engineering and Computing Dean Hossein Haj-Hariri has finally given an explanation for the increase: the extra money will simply finance a faculty trip to Carowinds.

This prompted a sigh of relief for many CEC undergrads who had worried the $1000/semester fee increase might have been unjustified.

Students frequently questioned where these funds went, with one student noting that the facilities at 300 Main and Swearingen had gone from “shitty” to only “slightly less shitty.” In light of such concerns, Dean Haj-Hariri assured that the trip he has been planning will be “very fun” for CEC administrators and professors, and would even include a sizable budget for faculty members to bring guests. In an interview Haj-Hariri explained, “we would never do anything rash with [CEC student] fee money. In fact, we’ve been planning this trip for quite some time. But that being said, you wouldn’t believe how much inflation there’s been!”

The response from the college’s staff has been overwhelmingly positive, including Computer Science professor Duncan Buell. “I’ve been emailing the whole damn college to see where that money has been going. But now to know that I’ll be riding the Intimidator with all of my colleagues in just a few weeks makes all of the frustration worth it!”

Most CEC students seem to have accepted the increase as a necessary evil. “I mean, let’s be honest,” junior Josh Wilke said. “We treat our professors like shit. Hell, I haven’t been to Buell’s class since syllabus day.”

Other students have echoed Wilke’s sentiment, with one sophomore saying, “I was imagining the fee might do something for us, like upgraded computers, better WiFi, or really even a fresh coat of paint to make this place feel less like prison. But now that I think about it, they’ve earned this.”

At press time, the Dean was preparing his proposal for an additional $2000 increase for the 2019 faculty road trip to Disney World.