University Ambassadors Have High Schoolers Fooled This Year

As many prospective students tour USC’s campus during their spring breaks, early reports say that USC’s university ambassadors really have this year’s batch of high schoolers fooled.

“I really feel like USC is the school for me after hearing about what great academics the school offers,” high school senior Erica Johnson said after her tour of campus, “as well as the affordable and high-quality meal plans Sodexo provides.”

Last week, President Harris Pastides could be seen laughing and rubbing his hands together as university ambassadors led a tour through McBride, which the ambassadors described as “historic.” They were also overheard saying that the mold on the walls of the residence hall gives it “a unique character that you just can’t find anywhere else.”

As University Ambassador Andrew DeRozen said, “Just the other day a student on a tour asked about parking on campus, and somehow they believed that Bull Street garage could support the 22,000 students who live off-campus. Then I told them all about how safe Five Points is and they believed every word.”

At press time, the university ambassadors were all practicing how to use the phrase “#1 International Business school” at least eight times in each tour.