Capstone or Trapstone: Residence Hall Turned Deathtrap

Capstone has long been a staple of USC student life. But today, those students who call Capstone home know it by a different name: Trapstone. “You get over the fear of death real fast when you live here,” Sam Huggins told reporters, “if you manage to survive past move-in day.”

Capstone residents were quick to tell reporters of their near-death experiences. “The first or second week here,” Shawna Benson recounted, “the ceiling fell out right above Gibbes, there was water and plaster everywhere. Since then I’ve been terrified of ceilings. I can’t go anywhere without having a panic attack. And that’s really not an exaggeration, ceilings are literally everywhere, there’s no escape.” Shawna also described between bouts of hyperventilation the peeling of paint despite everyone’s careful use of Command Strips, the presence of mold in the air vents, and the mysterious construction on the historic building that never seems to end.

Shawna’s roommate Diane had a different take. “I mean sure, we might all develop cancer in 30 years,” she said, “but I’ll have my degree to keep me company on my death bed. Isn’t that what college is all about?”

In addition to Shawna’s stories, there were tales of tubs running with rusty water, walls and windows leaking during Hurricane Irma, and a tasteful hint of asbestos within the building. However, the stories that drew the most attention were those of Capstone’s infamous elevators. Particularly, the story of how a group of students found themselves trapped in elevator 3 just a few weeks ago. While the students were rescued, the elevator remained mysteriously absent for the next two weeks. When asked if students would take the stairs from now on, Tyler Frederick provided some wise words on the issue. “I live on the 15th floor,” Tyler began, “I don’t know if I’ll ever be desperate enough to make that climb.”

There are some theories as to why the building seems to be out to murder it’s residents. “It’s totally haunted,” Jackie Jones told reporters, “it was built in like the 50s or 60s. There’s no way it’s not haunted. All these dead sadistic assholes just like to toy with us.” Right after Jackie finished her sentence, her elevator arrived. Jackie has yet to be found.

Other theorists speculate that the residence hall was doomed from the start. “There’s just so many signs,” Jim Smith revealed, “I mean the building has a 13th floor. Everybody knows you’re supposed to skip floor 13. What’s even weirder, I know that people live on floor 13, but I’ve never seen anyone leave or enter that floor. It’s like limbo up there- I’m not even sure it actually exists.”

At press time, a group of USC students decided to venture to the 13th floor and spend the night in the study room. However, the elevator refused to stop and instead took them up to Top of Carolina, all the way back to the first floor, and back up to Top of Carolina three times.