Student Finally Just Using Group Chat to Find a Weed Dealer: “Fuck It”

The struggle faced by a freshman USC student to find drugs has finally ended today with one simple GroupMe message.

Much like any new student, 18-year-old Christopher Ovellette has had trouble acclimating to his environment. “All of the people in my residence hall seem to have weed, yet none of them had told me where they get it,” explained Ovellette.

“I’d been physically asking around like ‘hey dude, hook me up,’” he told The Third Spur. But, unfortunately for Christopher, he was met with only dead ends.

Taking matters into his own hands, Ovellette drafted a message he’ll never forget. “I was like ‘fuck it’ and wrote ‘hey guys, I’m in serious need of some herbs hit me up with those deats slide in to those DMs ASAP with your dealer’s info and I’ll smoke you out as soon as he supplies,’ and then I added the leaf blowing emoji and the gas pump emoji,” detailed Ovellette.

Ovellette added that he sent the message to his U101 GroupMe which included his fellow freshmen as well as his U101 Peer Leader who was among the many whom liked the message. Christopher was soon met with several gif replies, likes, and questions of “is he serious?” But, among the waves of jokes from wannabe GroupMe-dians, arose one possible hope.

Ovellette reported that he received not one but two offers in his direct messages. One of the two felons was out of the substance at the time. However, the other unidentified man was ready to sell to Ovellette at a remarkable price.

“He said it would only be $45 for a gram and I was like ‘hells yeah’ I’ll buy from you,” the freshman joyfully described, “He said it was…what is the word? Noisey?”

At the time of press, Ovellette would not disclose how much marijuana he had left in his possession for fear that the government was “onto him already.” He did, however, confirm that he did indeed “smoke out” the hook up.