Cookin’ with the Spurs: Pork Chops for 1

Hello loyal readers and welcome to the Third Spur’s brand new addition: Cookin’ with the Spurs. Where we bring you the most delicious new recipes, tailored directly for YOU! Today’s recipe: Pork chops for 1 with a delicious pan sauce!

Everyone loves sharing a nice meal with their family and loved ones! Oops! It looks like you don’t have any, or at least none you can bear to show your face around. Fear not! You too can enjoy what was once reserved for normal people by just following this simple recipe!


  • 1 Pork Chop.
  • Vegetable Oil
  • 1/2 cup Shallots
  • 1 cup chicken stock
  • 2 Tbsps Butter
  • 1 Tbsp Dijon Mustard

First, take your one pork chop and season to your liking with salt and pepper. And we know they don’t come single in the grocery store, but most people have someone special in their lives to eat them with, but you aren’t most people. We both know you’re only going to use one, so just save the rest for later.

Place vegetable oil in your pan and heat it on the stove on medium-high heat, and carefully place the pork chop into the pan. Cook it until it is a beautiful golden brown on both sides and – Oh man what the fuck.

Great you fucking burnt it, dipshit. This was our first recipe for this new feature on our website and you fucked it up already. I don’t know how you manage to ruin everything you touch in your life. No wonder she left you.

No, don’t apologize, you should have another pork chop ready to go if you didn’t somehow burn that one too.

Hey wait, man, are you crying? Oh man, that was too harsh, wasn’t it? I’m sorry, I went too far again, didn’t I? Hey. I said hey. Look at me. I want this pork chop to be good just as much as you want it to, so let’s get started again.

Like I said, hot oil, and carefully place it into the pan. Maybe turn it down a bit cause it was too hot this time. Exactly like that. Listen to that sizzle!

Hey, look at that, it’s perfect. Beautiful golden brown on both sides, just like your eyes. The brown I mean, not beautiful. I think.

Now, take out your pork chop and put in the diced shallots. Cook it until they’re translucent, about a minute or 2. Smells delicious already right? Then pour the chicken stock in and scrape the brown crust off of the bottom; that’s where all the pork flavor for the sauce is.

Looking good… and the dish is, too. Simmer that down until it’s thick and season it to taste. Cut the heat off and add your butter and mix until it’s all combined, then add the mustard and mix. Then just plate the pork chop with your delicious sauce.

Wow. Oh look at that, you did so well, it’s perfect. You know, it’s so attractive when someone knows how to cook. Now just enjoy that by your cute self and realize you don’t need her.

Hey, for the next edition, I’m thinking about a recipe for two. You in?