Your Daily (HOURLY) Job Alerts

HELLO FUTURE GRADUATE, you have signed up to receive daily job postings from Google/Linkedin/Monster/Glassdoor/Handshake/Indeed/disappointment.

We have decided to email you every hour, though, because our spam is very important to us! To unsubscribe, you can’t!

  1. The job that you’ve already applied for
  2. The same job that you still don’t want
  3. The job you still aren’t qualified for today
  4. A job not really in the city you put, but close enough
  5. A job that is the complete opposite of what you asked for, but wow, isn’t that cool
  6. An internship
  7. An unpaid internship
  8. A campus ambassador
  9. An ad to work for Bite Squad/Uber Eats/Postmates where you can make $300 a day!!!
  10. Telemarketing
  11. The perfect job in the best city with a great salary and benefits that you are actually qualified for, but already hired someone and will automatically reject you as soon as you apply
  12. 19 listings that each require you to make logins on their individual job websites
  13. A job on campus
  14. A job in a city you’ve never heard of at a company doing something incredibly boring, but somehow pays six figures
  15. A job in Columbia, which is sad
  16. A job working for a shady company that you aren’t sure isn’t just a single weird old man at home, but you will apply for anyway
  17. A few jobs somewhat similar to what you’re looking for that you wouldn’t have applied for before but now you’re really getting desperate, so you’ll just mass apply for them all anyways
  18. A job with 5 different rounds of interviews each more unnecessary than the last
  19. A job that will ghost you after one email, leaving you to wonder where it all went wrong
  20. A job that looks great, but it’s in your hometown and you don’t want to give up on life this early