Sup, fellas? Brackley here again with some more Dude Advice: By Dudes, For Dudes (still working on the trademark). You guys have probably heard your hot girlfriends going on and on about Women’s History Month, and you finally came to ol’ Brackley to see what the heck is the deal. Luckily, my totally real, smokin’-hot GF has let me in on the sacred knowledge of the fairer sex, and you lucky brosephs are about to be blessed with her womanly secrets as well. Strap in and put on your ponchos, brohams, because it’s about to get wet n’ wild.
What Is It About?
History is basically the study of ghosts and the like, obviously. But do women have ghosts? According to my girlfriend, who exists, they definitely do. Women’s History Month is all about recognizing and paying mad respect to all the ghost chicks that are floating around in like, petticoats and stuff. Pour one out for all the ghost babes, broski.
Why Do Women Need a Whole Month?
Straight-up good question. I told my GF in a conversation we were having (because she is a real person) that even though I have mad respect for all the females out there, they do ask for a lot of stuff. Like, how are you going to champion equal rights, but then also want a whole freakin’ month devoted to you? Seems like a double standard to me.
She told me that basically, women have always been making rockin’ contributions to society and the like. Essentially we have to celebrate the effort they put in back then that afforded women the opportunities and freedoms they have today. That really made me think. I mean, how would the great Donnie Trump have gotten so famous if he hadn’t always had women as a prodigious talking point in his interviews. Thanks, women!
What Powers Do They Get?
I know this one has got some of you guys real pressed, cause it’s like, if I try to add some flavor to a girl’s drink while she’s not looking, is she gonna Carrie me or something? The answer, un-bro-tunately, is yes. Females get some real freaky powers this month, and not just the ability to see ghosts. My totally legit babe GF, who is in another country modeling right now (otherwise I would post a pic), told me all the abilities that the chicas develop during March:
- laser eyes
- regrowing limbs
- being able to superheat and supercool water
- jumping really high
- turning into a car
- talking to plants
- turn you into a tampon, and not in a sexy way
…and much more. So if you know what’s good for ya, bros, don’t mess with women this month. Actually, better just give them some dope respect and the rest of your weed while you’re at it, just in case they remember you dissing them when next March comes around. Sayonara, dudes, and see ya for next week’s installment, Feminism and Other -isms We Should Give a Second Chance.