Study: People Who Talk Loudly are More Likely to be Assholes

Researchers from the University of Indiana announced today that a 6-month study has unveiled a strong correlation between people who are “loud-talkers” and people who can generally be described as “assholes.” The study consisted of over 500 pain-staking intricate interviews, asking participants 100 questions ranging from preferred method of receiving information to preference of Coke versus Pepsi to their thoughts on the instability of the Middle East.

“The study was initially commissioned in an attempt to find common experiences which transcend human differences such as sex and race,” said head researcher Arthur Grunier. “But, all we could really conclude is that people who talk loudly are more likely to be assholes.”

Other behaviors found to be correlated with loud-talking include commenting on YouTube videos, ownership of a ‘MAGA’ hat, Greek-Life involvement, gym memberships, and majoring in business.