Scientists Make Scientific Breakthrough In Field


With great excitement, a group of scientists announced a major breakthrough in their field today. “This field will never be the same,” claimed Ludwig Nussenbaum, a scientist. The groundbreaking discovery was actually made by some graduate students, so their professor, Dr. Haskel Kravitz, claimed credit instead.

“The exact nature of the major breakthrough is difficult to grasp, especially for non-experts,” Kravitz explained, “but it’s kind of like if the plot of the 2007 movie Superbad but instead of horny teenagers, it’s muons, potassium nitrate, and Gila monsters.”

Despite being cited as “groundbreaking work” that’s showered in praise, experts have stated that no practical application will manifest from Kravitz’s theorem at any point in the near future, and it will likely fade into total obscurity.