128 Countries Sign Agreement to Not Allow American Election Refugees

Today in London, a monumental agreement was reached between 128 countries to not allow  Americans to flee the harsh political climate that has developed over the past year. The shocking pact comes after several months of American citizens claiming that they plan to defect depending on the outcome of the upcoming presidential election.

Notable countries involved in the agreement include Canada, Mexico, North Korea, South Korea, the entire European Union, and Madagascar. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau released a statement explaining the decision, saying “We understand the political trauma that has befallen the United States recently, but we cannot afford to allow potentially dangerous refugees into our country and jeopardize the safety of our citizens.”

Americans across the political spectrum are outraged by the new agreement, including current President Barack Obama, who is “appalled at the lack of empathy and compassion shown for innocent Americans in their time of most dire need.”

Despite the President’s plea to his fellow world leaders, the coalition does not appear to plan on altering the agreement. German Chancellor Angela spoke to press after the signing of the treaty, saying “While we want to help those in need, we need to protect our own borders first and foremost. Yes, the vast majority of American refugees seeking asylum are good people, but what about the Trump supporters mixed in with the crowd, or, God forbid, the ‘Bernie Bros’?”

Although the borders appear to be tightening, many Americans still plan on fleeing come November, even if it means doing so illegally, with one man telling The Third Spur it was “the only way to keep his family safe.”

“What choice do we have, when the only alternative is representative democracy?”