In a turn of events that nobody ever expected, the COVID-19 virus has mutated once again. The variant, known as the “Sigma Variant” has surprisingly little resemblance to the original strain of the virus identified in 2019. Specifically, the symptoms are more intense in some patients.
It is not well-known how the Sigma variant travels from person to person, but it is likely that the virus chooses its own path, never taking orders from others. It also causes infection clusters in many unexpected places. These clusters, known as “Lone Wolves” only infect one or two individuals at a time. The variant puts all of its energy into its victim instead of spending time for itself or going out for a beer.
Most notably, the Sigma variant only infects single men. Some have speculated that this is a result of the variant’s sexism toward men. Experts have debunked this claim though, as it’s clear the variant just sympathizes with the historical struggle of women in a male-dominated society.
Researchers have been working hard on a variant-specific vaccine that’s different but equal to those already available. Thanks to the variant’s independence, the particle was already isolated when discovered. However, development has proven difficult as the Sigma variant has spent most of its time bragging about working 90 hour weeks.
Experts suggest that the best way to protect yourself from the variant is to get the COVID vaccine or just get fucking laid.