Business Fraternity Excited to Expand Professional Drinking Network

AKPsi business fraternity is excited to start the Spring rush process and expand their professional drinking network. Fraternity President Laura Schmidt gave us insight on fraternity life:

“We are very excited to get the ball rolling this semester. The fraternity offers so many new opportunities for us to grow. Our long list of distinguished alumni come from all across the world; after all, we are older than most of the big macro-breweries. We need to hit the ground running this semester to ensure that we’re on the ball.”

Popular events include pre-gaming the Wednesday-night resume workshops and bi-monthly sustainability seminars, where members learn how to handle getting trashed.

Third Spur reporters were able to observe one of their rush events, called “Buzzword Buzz,” during which potential new members would take shots for every trending business word mentioned. AKPsi Treasurer Ryan Johnson visibly shook the room with his talk on “improving personal growth, interpersonal communication, and improving ROI on Busch light.”

Potential new member Josh Greely said to the Third Spur: “I’m really excited to join and shotgun some brews in a suit. It gets boring just doing it in my frocket. Bottom line, I’m excited to synergize with my new brothers and take care of some 40’s and 401k’s.”