According to a statement by the head of Mental Health Services, the amount of students with mental health concerns has reached nearly 0% in the week following the Stigma Free USC event. The event involved activities such as coloring, decorating cookies, nature walks, and even a petting zoo, and was designed to show just how supportive USC is of students with mental illnesses.
“I was super depressed after I forgot to charge my Juul before Psych, but like, this event like totally completely cured me,” reported junior Jacklyn Brown. Brown’s statement was echoed by several other students. “When I first got here, it took them a month to write me a new Lithium prescription even though I was completely out, but seeing those caged baby goats made my constant manic-depressive episodes completely worth it,” exclaimed extremely excited freshman Kyle Redding.
Sigma Free USC is a fantastic demonstration of just how far our university will go to promote mental health. “Whenever I get some depressed kid in my office, crying because their family can’t afford mental health care and they’ve used all 10 of their free counseling sessions within the first few months, the first thing I do is direct them to the coloring page table,” said head psychiatrist Dr. Joy Beckham. “Many of our critics have said that if we actually cared about mental health we would put money into hiring more psychiatrists, or say, build a dedicated mental health center so it doesn’t move into a random corner of campus every year. Clearly none of these people attended the “Just Be Happy” meditation class.”
Overall, the event was a massive success, as shown by the sharp decline in mental illness here on campus. Sophomore Carson Roark summed up it up best: “I was deemed ‘not mentally ill enough’ to get treatment, even though I had been going to therapy for two years before I got here. But after writing the thing I like most about myself on the positivity wall, my serotonin levels have never been higher!”