Missing Father Found After Getting Lost During Family Weekend

The USC Police Department has announced they have located a father who went missing during Family Weekend.

49 year-old Doug Sanford was found to be wandering through the fifth floor of Close-Hipp Thursday wearing a garnet USC polo, khaki cargo shorts, and white New Balance sneakers.  After a group of students overheard him asking someone “what a Darla Moore was,” campus police were notified of his presence and carefully escorted him out of the building.  The Richmond, VA native was in Columbia with his wife to visit their freshman son David, who assumed his parents had left when he said goodbye to them at his dorm on Sunday.

“It’s not surprising, really,” David stated.  “When he drove me down here to move in in August, we somehow drove through Dallas.  We tried to teach him how to use Google Maps, but the instructions just confused him even more.  It makes sense why they set aside five days to do what is usually a six hour drive.”

Doug’s wife, Linda, was able to add some clarity to the situation, adding that Doug routinely gets lost.  “He just doesn’t have any situational awareness or sense of direction,” Linda claimed.  “The malls are the worst.  I keep a leash meant for a large dog in my car just in case things get hectic.  All it takes is one moment where I’m not looking and he’ll be halfway across the mall.”

Linda explained that she wasn’t worried when Doug went missing on Sunday. “He always finds his way back.  He’s just out on his own little adventure.  Once he was gone for over two months.  Turns out he just couldn’t find a parking spot at the grocery store!”

At press time, Doug was seen being corralled back into the family minivan.