Ah, twenty-first birthday parties, the pinnacle of the college experience. But when it comes down to it, if you want people to get turnt for your big day, you’ve got to give people something they haven’t seen before. I’m actually turning 21 in a couple of months, and I’d love it if you’d be able to stop by. Here are some new, fresh theme ideas I’m considering for my own bash so that we can all get shwasted for my #FirstLegalDrink!
- Surprise Claw Machine Party. So here’s what we do: I tell everyone that it’s a party where everyone has to dress up as their favorite toy or stuffed animal. Then, when they show up, we give them the big reveal: my birthday sign is actually a sharp pincer, and I spend the entire night trying to grab them claw-machine style! So what do you think? Can you block off December 13th?
- Post-Titanic Party. I’ve always wanted to do a period party. We could have everyone dress up like they were passengers on the Titanic, maybe people could do some characters, but here’s the twist: the party takes place immediately after the crash of the Titanic. So I’m thinking we flood my entire apartment with saltwater and then do the party that way? I hope you’re putting this in your Google Calendar, I’d love for you to come get sloshed with me!
- Breathalyzer Party. If for logistic reasons, we have to have my big bash before I’m legal, we have to make sure everyone’s safe. So for this party, I would dress up as a cop, invite my neighbor Greg (he is a cop who’s got a sick gun!), and give everyone breathalyzer tests! We could make a punishment for not walking in a straight line (maybe Greg could tase my friends?) and only serve virgin versions of classic drinks. All of my friends are people of color, are you ready to get lit or what?
- Playground Parachute Party. Remember those parachutes from elementary school PE? You know, like these? What if we just had the party under one of those? I know we’d need someone to hold it up the whole time, but I’ve already got a SignUp Genius form made if you’d want to volunteer for a half-hour shift. We’re going to have a blast. Like I’m going to get so swervy, I can’t wait.
- Cultural Appropriation Party. With ‘cultural appropriation’ being such a hot topic, I’m sure no one has been brave enough to make it a party theme. However, I’m going to be the first one to ever tackle this issue. But don’t worry– I won’t do this tastelessly. I’m going to tell all my friends it’s a cultural appropriation party, and then I’m going to see who shows up in blackface. If anyone does, I reveal my true motives: it was all a test, and now they’re canceled and barred from my party and my house for life. Isn’t it genius? Everyone who doesn’t fail my test will probably want to celebrate that they’re one of the woke good ones, and then we can all get trashed together! It’s genius! Hope I’ll see you there, my dude!
- True Crime Mystery Party. Everyone loves a little intrigue. That’s why, for my twenty-first, I intend to create a fake Facebook account, and invite a bunch of people that I hardly know to a mystery party. They won’t know who’s throwing it or what it’s for. Then, when everyone shows up because they are so curious about what the event could be, I (in my clever disguise) stab someone with either a fake or real knife (let me know what would be better) and then everyone is thrown into this cool bonding experience of having to figure out who stabbed their friend and why! While getting totally smashed!
So what do you think? I’ll be seeing you there right?