Joe Pesci Swallows Reporter Whole

While sitting on a panel for the upcoming film “The Irishman,” noted American actor Joe Pesci swallowed a reporter in one fluid motion, according to sources.

Responding to a question about his preparation for the role, the actor, known for his work in films such as “Goodfellas,” “Home Alone,” and “Casino,” reportedly unhinged his jaw and, with calm focus, consumed a representative from the Oregon Daily Chronicle. The reporter, whose identity is not yet known, struggled briefly before succumbing to the Oscar winner’s powerful bite and strong sedative saliva.

Responding to questions after the panel, director Martin Scorsese remarked, “That’s just Joe,” adding, “It’s his style to be a little unorthodox.”

At press time, Pesci had crawled under a heat lamp to maintain body temperature while digesting the reporter.