Opinion: This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Two Of Us, Florence

Darude’s Sandstorm

Excuse me, but who is this “Florence” everyone is talking about? We all know there’s only room in this town for one storm, and that’s me.  I’m there for you every game day, every shining moment, and suddenly SHE comes around and you go off and cancel everything for a week? Not cool. In my glory days I could attract crowds from across the country. What does she do? She scares everyone away. And now what am I supposed to do? Wait? No. Not today, Florence.

I, Darude’s Sandstorm, challenge Florence to a death match. No weapons, solely hand to hand combat. To the death. Whoever wins gets Columbia. Not trying to be cocky (leave him out of this, you crazed bitch), but I know this town like the back of my hand, and I’m not about to lose her. You’re in for a real whirlwind of a fight, Florence, and you’re going down.

Just remember, USC, hurricanes leave as fast as they come. But I, Darude’s Sandstorm, will continue on for eternity.