Study: Conversion to Christianity Increases by 40% Following Popsicle Giveaways

Researchers from the University of South Carolina Department of Religious Studies have concluded that the number of students who attend Christian campus events has drastically increased following the popsicle giveaways that typically take place in August. The researchers obviously attribute this to a large number of conversions to Christianity as a direct result of these events. 

The team found a strong increase in ministry event attendance directly following these giveaways, commenting that a significant number of students reported “a strong desire to eat free bagels.” They found that the average amount of time spent at the events by new members fell within the range of ten to fifteen minutes, but new students, when approached by the research team, would often say statements like “I accept Jesus Christ as my savior,” and “do they have iced coffee here?”

Some students, like sophomore Hailey Robertson, admit they initially approached these groups with skepticism. “I didn’t really grow up with a lot of religion in my life, but after trying that Blue Raspberry popsicle, I might redownload the Bible app,” Robertson explained.

“We truly were not expecting these giveaways to impact students’ spiritual affiliations so strongly,” said social scientist Richard Maggio. “But it got to the point where we were actually able to predict pretty accurately whether a student declared that he or she was “saved” or not, simply by asking the student to stick their tongue out and seeing if it was a different color.”