Opinion: Dear Advisor, Per My Last Email…

Dear Mr. Paulson,

Thanks for being so helpful during our advising meeting last week! I’m emailing to follow up about some things we talked about. If you remember, I only need to take one more class to complete my minor, but I was having some trouble getting a seat.

I took your advice and emailed the undergraduate student coordinator for the history department, Nancy Selwyn. I’m happy to say she got back to me quickly! Unfortunately, she said that the website hadn’t been updated, and that she hasn’t been the student coordinator for three years. She redirected me to the current coordinator, James Ryker. 

James told me he would check with the teacher of the class, and that he would get back to me. I had to email him just a couple more times, but he finally remembered to do that and informed me that the teacher actually doesn’t work here anymore! Apparently, only one person, Mr. Brown, taught the class I need, and he went on a sabbatical to Tainan six months ago. James gave me the name of Mr. Brown’s old barber and deleted his email shortly thereafter.

I was able to track down Mr. Brown’s barber via LinkedIn, and I arranged a Zoom meeting. Although Mr. Brown hasn’t scheduled a haircut in the near future, the barber told me that if I could get him an antique barber pole from a pawnshop in Newberry, he would give me Mr. Brown’s cell phone number.

I used my weekend to drive up to Newberry, and I haggled with the pawnshop owner to drive the cost down to only $250, which was a small price to pay to get this, and I can’t stress this enough, vital credit for my active major that you told me could not be secured with any other class. The barber gave me Mr. Brown’s phone number, which was out of service. This was the point where I emailed you a couple of days ago, to which you responded “Keep at it, let me know if there’s any way I can help!” So I found a phone book and called every Brown until I eventually reached Mr. Brown’s auntie. 

Linda was nice and told me that Mr. Brown had actually gotten back into town a half month ago. She offered to tell me how to contact him if I helped her with a couple of small errands. After I mowed her lawn, trimmed her hedges, dusted her Faberge egg collection, polished her set of real human bones, scrubbed the blood off of the floor of her cellar, reinforced the old chains in her attic, and waxed her car, she gave me Mr. Brown’s address.

When I finally reached him, he proudly informed me that he retired six years ago and that UofSC must not have updated its records. He said that my minor was supposed to be marked inactive the day he left. Then he slammed his door in my face and laughed so loud I could hear it through the heavy wood. 

Anyways, this email is just to ask you to please remove my minor from DegreeWorks, and I’m grateful for all the work you did! I really appreciated the outdated link to the History Department that I ultimately had to find myself. As always, your help was invaluable. Thanks, and see you next semester!