Rush Limbaugh Too Scared To Reveal Crush On Hillary Clinton

Sources revealed yesterday that conservative talk-radio icon Rush Limbaugh is still too afraid to admit he has had a crush on Democratic Presidential nominee Hillary Clinton for the last twenty-three years. Limbaugh reportedly first began to “like-like” Clinton in 1993 when she became First Lady of the United States, and has since successfully hidden his feelings for the political figure.

“Hillary, who by the way, is covered in cooties, is not fit to be President of the United States,” Limbaugh said in a recently aired podcast. “No, her experience under Barack Hussein ‘O’ does not qualify her, nor does that cute little button nose she has.” The popular radio host is well-known for his disparaging remarks and carefully crafted spitballs aimed at Clinton.

Those close to Limbaugh say that his near-constant stream of vitriol directed at the former senator are “just what boys do when they like someone.”

Clinton’s camp has remained quiet on the issue until recently, releasing a press statement calling Limbaugh “icky” and insisting that “Mrs. Clinton wouldn’t ever kiss him in a million, bajillion years.”