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love

Entertainment Holiday Spring 2020 Edition 1 

Five Totally Foolproof Ways To Get Your Fifth Grade Crush To Notice You

February 13, 2020February 13, 2020 2000s, crush, fifth grade, love, valentine

It’s the late 2000s, love is in the air, and you have a crush that’s in the fifth grade (wow!).

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Fall 2019 Edition 1 Politics 

Opinion: My Hypothetical Future Wife And I Need You To Support The Green New Deal

September 20, 2019September 20, 2019 climate strike, congress, environment, green new deal, lgbt, love

If you do not support the Green New Deal, you are homophobic.

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Campus Fall 2018 Edition 4 Opinion 

Fellas: Is Yelling About Cocks Gay?

October 9, 2018 cocks, jonathan, love

I mean, I don’t think yelling abut cocks makes you gay.

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Spring 2018 Edition 3 World 

Valentine’s Day Horoscopes

February 14, 2018February 14, 2018 horoscopes, love, valentine

Everything you need to know for the week of love.

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Opinion Spring 2018 Edition 3 

Editorial: Smash or Pass

February 14, 2018February 14, 2018 game, love, pass, smash

We’ll give you an object. Then you tell us whether you’d smash, or pass.

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Campus Spring 2018 Edition 7 

Girl Thinks it’s Love After Date in Russell House Theater

February 13, 2018April 16, 2018 love, movies, Russell House

“I don’t have huge expectations, you know, so this was perfect,“ she said.

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Opinion Spring 2018 Edition 2 World 

Opinion: I Accidentally Fell In Love as a Joke

February 5, 2018February 5, 2018 love, opinion, relationship

The joke began with some harmless flirting, but quickly spun out of control.

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Fall 2017 Edition 5 World 

Man Breaks Into Cold Sweat After Receiving Text from Girlfriend Saying “We Gotta Talk”

October 16, 2017October 16, 2017 local, love, Texting

“I didn’t do anything,” he feverishly claimed. “Well, at least I think I didn’t.”

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Campus Fall 2017 Edition 2 

Freshman Puts Condom in Wallet Because “You Never Know”

September 19, 2017September 22, 2017 freshmen, love, sex

Jenkins says he’s waiting to find the right girl not to have sex with, but to make love to. ‘If it happens at a bar, so be it,’ he says.

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Fall 2017 Edition 1 Opinion 

Editorial: We’re Committed to the Truth, and this Relationship

September 9, 2017 editorial, love, news

What we have is special.

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Spring 2017 Edition 8 World 

Man Commits Suicide While Shopping With Girlfriend

March 24, 2017March 24, 2017 crime, Death, love

Danvers, 26, was found deceased of an apparent suicide in the colored paper aisle of a local Michael’s.

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Campus Spring 2017 Edition 8 

Man Learns Coldplay Song on Piano in New Strategy to Impress Women

March 24, 2017 Coldplay, love, Music, piano

He is reportedly waiting until ‘a smokin’ babe’ is in the room before trying it out.

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Campus Spring 2017 Edition 1 

Last Night Absolutely Bereft of Good Decisions

January 19, 2017 drinking, Five Points, love

Once inside, it was less than one half-hour before you were thrown from a bucking mechanical bull.

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Fall 2016 Edition 6 World 

Opinion: Yes, It’s Still Discrimination If It’s My Anime Body Pillow

October 27, 2016October 31, 2016 anime, love, opinion

We need to also acknowledge that body pillows have just as much a right to be in public spaces as the rest of us.

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Fall 2016 Edition 5 Opinion 

Opinion: Sex Should Be Mathematical

October 20, 2016October 20, 2016 love, mathematics, opinion, sex

Too often people strive for spontaneity, but I have found sex is so much better when it is formulaic.

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Fall 2016 Edition 3 Politics 

Rush Limbaugh Too Scared To Reveal Crush On Hillary Clinton

September 30, 2016September 30, 2016 election, Hillary Clinton, love

Sources revealed yesterday that conservative talk-radio icon Rush Limbaugh is still too afraid to admit he has had a crush on Democratic Presidential nominee Hillary Clinton.

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Fall 2016 Edition 2 Sci-Tech 

Couple Actually Communicates Effectively

September 22, 2016September 28, 2016 couple, love, romance, science

A monumental breakthrough occurred this past Friday in inter-sex communication.

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Entertainment 

Student Hopes Third Listen of Broadway Musical ‘Hamilton’ Enough to Get Laid

April 6, 2016April 6, 2016 Hamilton, love, Musical

Finishing his third play-through of the week, sophomore Jared Davis expressed hope that his extensive exposure to the popular Broadway

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Holiday World 

Local Man Buys Present For Girlfriend Planning To Dump Him

December 15, 2015December 20, 2017 breakup, christmas, Gift, love

Area man Zachary Nguyen, 32, recently purchased a necklace for 28 year-old Karen LeFort, the girlfriend planning to dump him one week from Tuesday, reports say.

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Opinion 

Opinion: Fuck You, Derek

November 15, 2015November 26, 2015 breakup, Derek, love

Fuck you Derek. You’re such an asshole. Wow. Can’t believe I even stayed with you as long as I did. All you ever did was hold me back.

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Opinion 

Opinion: Guys, I’ve Finally Found The One

November 15, 2015November 18, 2015 crush, love, opinion

Fall has begun, here in Columbia, and as the leaves fall to the ground and squirrels run to and fro in anticipation of the coming frost, I just went on my last first date with the girl who I know is “the one.”

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Entertainment 

Date To State Fair Somehow Goes Terribly

October 25, 2015November 26, 2015 love, state fair

Rory Morton, 18, somehow managed to have a terrible date to the South Carolina State Fair on Saturday, sources say.

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Entertainment 

Redefining Sexual Maturity: Senior Reaches Climax Of Retired Life

March 26, 2015November 16, 2015 love, senior, vern

At the Winter’s Gate Retirement Community, there’s not much for the residents to do while they await their deaths. Some

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World 

NSA Agent Falling For Woman Whose Emails He’s Been Reading

January 26, 2015November 6, 2015 love, NSA

NSA Agent [REDACTED] tracks emails from dozens of citizens everyday, scanning them, reading them, and making sure that they don’t

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Hot Stories

  • Study Confirms English Classmate Totally Into You posted on September 10, 2015 | under Campus
  • Professor Shows Up to Class To Find Every Student Skipped posted on October 19, 2021 | under Campus, Fact, Fall 2021 Edition 5
  • Opinion: Top 10 Reasons I’m Literally Crying and Shaking rn (and One Reason I’m Not) posted on October 19, 2021 | under Fall 2021 Edition 5, List, Opinion

Latest Edition

Close-Hipp Showdown: Are You More Close or Hipp?
Campus Developing Stories Politics Spring 2023 Edition 2 

Close-Hipp Showdown: Are You More Close or Hipp?

March 29, 2023March 29, 2023

An in-depth look at the nuances of USC’s biggest conflicts in recent history.

Weekly News Update
Spring 2023 Edition 2 World 

Weekly News Update

March 29, 2023
Presidents Biden, Trump, and Obama Announce Joint Twitch Streaming Channel
Entertainment Politics Spring 2023 Edition 2 

Presidents Biden, Trump, and Obama Announce Joint Twitch Streaming Channel

March 29, 2023
10 Signs You or Someone You Know May be an NPC
Fact List Spring 2023 Edition 2 

10 Signs You or Someone You Know May be an NPC

March 29, 2023
The Third Spur Investigates: A Sorority Conspiracy (Misinformation?)
Campus Developing Stories Spring 2023 Edition 2 

The Third Spur Investigates: A Sorority Conspiracy (Misinformation?)

March 29, 2023
Opinion: Comedy is Dead, and I Have Killed It
Entertainment Opinion Spring 2023 Edition 2 

Opinion: Comedy is Dead, and I Have Killed It

March 29, 2023
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